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    • Credits

    francey design
    blogger

    Tuesday, June 28, 2005

    ZIA

    I can't believe how that conversation went down,...I hung up the phone feeling so confused and upset,..how could I have been so wrong? My intentions were completely misinterpreted,..I really and truly felt that I was releasing him from feeling obligated to the situation but instead he felt disrespected?! And the anger in his voice was chilling, I was not trying to make decisions for everyone involved,..I honestly felt I said what needed to be said but was too scary to say... This is so unfair,...u r my family, ur part of my life,..yet I felt sooo disconnected and shut out.

    The day didn't get any better,......

    How did it come to this?

    + H.U.M.A. @ 11:20 AM

    Friday, June 10, 2005

    Find myself getting lost in my thoughts and sense of being lonely when I am by myself,...spent much of the week trying to keep bz to not deal with the situation,,..still hurts.

    One of my strengths has always been to be there for people to provide comfort and support for them,....people have always turned to me for advice and comfort but I've found that these days, I am in no position to provide either,...

    went to outback last nite for dinner,..afterwards when we were back at the house, a friend began to cry which was totally unexpected,..the worst part was I didn't know what to say or do, I just felt helpless,....

    I am not surprised that they weren't informed,..it saddens me that they heard the news from me first rather than from the person they shud have heard it from,.but what's new,... =*(

    + H.U.M.A. @ 9:20 PM

    Monday, June 06, 2005

    Not quite sure what to think or how to feel,..compelety numb. Just don't care about anything right now. I knew it was coming. It was inevitable from all sides but to actually recognize and verbalize the reality of the situation still hurts so much,..i just can't believe that's it. Deaded.

    Left Boston right after 'starbucks' on Saturday afternoon,..it was so sad to drive away, on the most amazing day, just like that, w/o any proper gbye's but I didn't have a choice, I had to leave for so many reasons. I was really lookin foreward to this weekend,..I have been so burnt out and I missed my girls but once again, plans changed and it was out of my control.

    Family came to my apartment early Sunday morning.
    I know I made the right decision but thoughts keep racing thru my head, memories flooding my mind.

    Who would have thought this is how it would all go down? Well, now you are free just like you had wanted since the beginning,....enjoy your freedom.

    + H.U.M.A. @ 10:48 AM